Showing posts with label Death By Robots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death By Robots. Show all posts

Thursday, August 04, 2011

TODAY IN CO-DEPENDENCE



My husband and I have a great relationship. We are there for each other, but give each other space. We share errands and household tasks. We let the other one watch what they want on TV. And we are romantic.

What we are not good at is being apart. Not because we miss each other so terribly, but because inevitably when one of us goes out of town the other one nearly dies. Take our last three sojourns apart:

1) Justin goes to LA. 20 minutes after he leaves, Phaea bends over and cracks her skull on the corner of an end table resulting in a bloody eyeball:

Graphic.
2) Phaea goes to Utah. Justin gets so drunk in the apartment that he passes out at 12am holding a container of his own vomit, which spills. Also, his punching hand is bleeding. Punchee = unknown.

3) Justin goes to LA again. A day later Phaea puts her hands in scalding hot water, mixes bleach and ammonia, and then almost drinks a glass of bleach.

It's romantic to say "I can't live with out you." But in this relationship it's more of a plea. 

UPDATE:

It's getting worse. Last night I was just in a separate room then Justin and I smacked my head so hard on the corner of my filing cabinet that it still hurts today:


The conversation after it happened went like this:

Me: Ahhhh! I hit my head really hard on the corner of....(forgot the word "filing cabinet")
Justin: On the what?
Me: WHY DOES THAT MATTER!


Monday, April 11, 2011

TODAY IN ROBOTS:


The Guess Who song "American Woman" was stuck in my head today. When you replace the word "woman" with "robot" the song still makes sense, but it's much, much scarier:


American Robot Stay away from me
American Robot Mama let me be
Don’t come Hanging around my door
I don’t want to see your face No more
I got more important Things to do
Then spend my time Growing old with you
American Robot Get away from me
American Robot Mama let me be
Don’t come Knocking around my door
I don’t want to see your shadow No more
Colored Lights Can hypnotize
Go and sparkle Someone else’s eyes
Now Robot I said get away
American Robot Listen what I say
American Robot I said get away
American Robot Listen what I say
Don’t come Hanging around my door
Idon’t want to see your face No more
I don’t need your war machines
I don’t need your ghetto scenes
Colored lights can hypnotize
Sparkle someone else’s eyes
Now Robot, get away from me
American Robot, mama let me be
Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
gonna leave you, Robot
gonna leave you, Robot
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, Robot
I’m gonna leave, Robot
Goodbye, American Robot


And then the robot shoots the singer with a laser gun. See what I mean? It's basically Britney Spear's video for "Till the World Ends".