Thursday, August 04, 2011

TODAY IN CO-DEPENDENCE



My husband and I have a great relationship. We are there for each other, but give each other space. We share errands and household tasks. We let the other one watch what they want on TV. And we are romantic.

What we are not good at is being apart. Not because we miss each other so terribly, but because inevitably when one of us goes out of town the other one nearly dies. Take our last three sojourns apart:

1) Justin goes to LA. 20 minutes after he leaves, Phaea bends over and cracks her skull on the corner of an end table resulting in a bloody eyeball:

Graphic.
2) Phaea goes to Utah. Justin gets so drunk in the apartment that he passes out at 12am holding a container of his own vomit, which spills. Also, his punching hand is bleeding. Punchee = unknown.

3) Justin goes to LA again. A day later Phaea puts her hands in scalding hot water, mixes bleach and ammonia, and then almost drinks a glass of bleach.

It's romantic to say "I can't live with out you." But in this relationship it's more of a plea. 

UPDATE:

It's getting worse. Last night I was just in a separate room then Justin and I smacked my head so hard on the corner of my filing cabinet that it still hurts today:


The conversation after it happened went like this:

Me: Ahhhh! I hit my head really hard on the corner of....(forgot the word "filing cabinet")
Justin: On the what?
Me: WHY DOES THAT MATTER!


4 comments:

j9 said...

dangerous = arousing

badpie24 said...

You know, sometimes I wonder if my husband would be dead if I wasn't around. He's always hurting himself in ways that defy logic and follow the laws of comedy. Spilling boiling hot water on his crotch, that sort of thing. You and your hubby should get panic buttons.

Phaea C. said...

I 100% agree.

Kablack said...

You guys are like your own Final Destination.