TODAY IN SMILE MISTAKES:
This past weekend I found myself among a large group of my boyfriends friends, all of whom I know and love, and most of whom I am quite chummy with (shout out Lucas, Sarah, Slanch, Tristan!)

At this get together there was a new friend I had never met before, visiting from DC. He also was very very funny and nice, and I felt myself settling into that state H. Rollins calls "man floating in luke warm water", IE very comfortable despite being slightly out of my element.

The night is moving along and Justin goes out to get me beer and chicken rings (it's a prospect park thing, you wouldn't understand). In the seconds that he is gone I notice that the DC friend has a small gap between his two front teeth. Now, for some reason I think that gaps between front teeth look really neat. I always have and I probably always will. I just think they are an attractive addition to a face, male or female.

So I open my mouth to comment to DC friend that I like the space between his teeth. I was in fact planning to say: "You have a gap in your teeth! I love gaps in teeth! I think they look really awesome."

I begin.

I say, "You have...."...when suddenly, two words into the sentence, my brain snaps into action. * It says:

Brain: Phaea, people don't like to be told about gaps in their teeth.

Phaea: Oh shit...really?

Brain: Remember? The LAST time you told someone that they had a gap between their teeth? They got upset at you.

Phaea: Oh fuck, thats right....I'm about to look like a total dick!

Brain: Quick, say this instead.....

* Note: all brain conversations take place in milliseconds of time- I did not stand in silence for half a minute having this conversation with myself. Don't worry.

Phaea: (You have- previous spoken)....a really nice smile Eick!

The room pauses in surprise.

I suddenly realize that complimenting my boyfriends friend's appearance the second he left the room does not exactly "save my ass" from looking like the total dick I was originally trying to avoid.

The room explodes in hoots, guffaws, and one comment from Lucas to the effect of:

Lucas: Hey Eick, when her boyfriends out of the room........wooo hooo!!

All greatly deserved.