Thursday, May 29, 2008


For the past few days I have been horribly sick with some weird combination of a cold,allergies, and general stress. This usually happens to me when the weather changes to spring/summer and I have to start having my window open in my room. During this last horrible illness I noticed that my screen doesn't touch my window glass, meaning that there is a small slant of open space which allows any sort of bug to fly in.

Last night I realized I was trapped in my little room with a monstrous mosquito. Here is how it played out:

1) I hear the fucking mosquito buzzing by my ear as I am watching I sweep at the air.
2) I see TFM land on my key board. I swat at it, but in my weakened state, miss it.
3) We play this ear to key board game a few more times before I am all worn out and turn out the light.
4) TFM does the ear buzz and bites me a few more time, one time UNDERNEATH MY BLANKET. I swat wildly around like a crank dancer.
5) All worn out I turn on the light to see if I connected. Panting, I look at my ceiling and see TFM just chillin' above my bed.
6) I hit the ceiling with my hand, TFM flies, reappears on my door. I hit the door, TFM disappears, reappears on my ceiling. I grab an Archie Comic and SMACK! It seems like I connect, but there is no dead TFM on the book or ceiling.
7) I pass out from NyQuil.
8) 4:30am, TFM buzzes my ears again. I realize that if I put the blanket over my head I may suffocate, but no more TFM. I do this.
9) I wake up exhausted at 7:30am. I look up to the ceiling and I see TFM.
10) I grab the Archie, slowly creep up and SMACK!!
11) TFM burst on my ceiling spreading MY BLOOD all over. That it had been DRINKING ALL NIGHT!!! What a shit head!!!!

Also, during the previous night as I was tossing and turning with a fever I realized something: Suri Cruise is Katie Holmes' clone. That is why they look so much alike, explains how Tom "had" a kid even though there were rumors he was sterile, and why Katie's pregnancy was so fake looking.

Scientogists are just crazy enough to have figured out cloning and they would use it too. They have a Navy. And they are evil.

I am actually afraid of posting this because they will hunt me down and hurt me (or convert me).

Never the less the truth must be told!!!!

1 comment:

Shatraw said...

please don't die, on account of either your sickness or the smelly scientologists. i need you forever!