Wednesday, July 06, 2011


I hate the Summer for many reasons. The sun depletes my resources. The heat sucks my energy. Ice Cream is my master. And, worst of all TV is fucking terrible. Right now I am re-watching John Adams on HBO on demand and hating it. My brain is desperate for something entertaining, exotic, well produced or just mindless with out being asinine. (White Collar, I'm looking at YOU.) 

So, I started coming up with ideas for shows that I'd like to watch. Here are my pitches to you, dear internet. Someone please make them. 

1) Monsters Without Borders: 60min/drama. The story of monsters that terrorize people all over the world no matter where they originated! Are the people of Switzerland suffering from a lack of scares? Monsters Without Borders will be there!

2) Detective Werk: 30min/comedy. A drag queen detective solves crimes and looks fabulous! I would be happy if this was a drama too. 

3) Law & Order: Can I Talk To You For A Minute: 60min/procedural. A classic L & A series focusing on interrogation rooms and characters bursting in and saying "Can I talk to you for a minute" every two seconds. 

4) These Modern Girls! Feature Film. A female buddy comedy set in a fantasy middle earth type world. It's Lord of the Rings meets Bridesmaids meets Xena: Warrior Princess. They are a loose canon bounty hunter, a sensible blacksmith, and a spunky young king's guard and they are trying to stop an evil man from getting some kind of magic stone.  I will probably write this so if anyone wants to pre-pay for the rights to make it, let me know. 

What about you guys? What do YOU want to be on TV right now? 

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