TODAY IN BRAIN JOKES!


I've been real lazy about updating the old blog lately! So to go even lower I am just going to repeat things that I posted on face book.

The following are two jokes that I thought of in my dreams, and actively FORCED myself to remember because they were so hilarious.

1) "Look I can tell you are calling me a douchebag. Why? Is it because my shirt is all wrinkled? My hair is mess? I am holding this fork?"

2) (chanted) "Hey, middle school friend! Why is your Dad so embarrassing?" (repeat 4 times)

Now, the first one had some context because I was coming to my friend Alex's house not to visit, but to eat a cake that he had. Thus the fork that I was holding in my hand. They person who I was talking to was a family member of Alex's who had said "Oh, how are you Phaea?" in such a way that I new she thought I was a douche bag. Thus the confrontation you see above. It was intended to be self deprecating. And so hilarious.

The second joke was performed on stage at a stand up club, so in my dream this was simply killer material for my next show. The stomping and clapping really brought up the energy of the house. In the dream I also lip synced "Somewhere over the Rainbow", which got no laughs, and started singing "Day-O", which brought down the house! But obviously, "Day-O" is someone elses' intellectual property (Winona Rider's?) so I guess the middle school dad song was my consolation prize from my brain.