TODAY IN SARAH PALIN (IMPRESSIONS):


R&B Runner #3 from Mixtape '98 on Vimeo.

TODAY IN LEAVING THE COUNTRY:

OK...so I leave the country for 10 days and I come back to no economy, the political scene in shambles and then....THIS:



I can't leave you guys alone for ONE MINUTE!!!!!

TODAY IN NEW McCAIN CAMPAIGN IDEAS:


ARE YOU AFRAID JOHN MCCAIN WILL DIE IN OFFICE LEAVING THE COUNTRY IN THE HANDS OF SARAH PALIN? DON'T FEAR, HE'S.....
...CHOCK FULL OF HARVESTED CLONE ORGANS!

TODAY IN FEARS AND FEELINGS OF SELF WORTH:

With complete honesty I can say that my biggest fear is finding a tiny kitten abandoned in the evening and not being able to get kitten formula and an eyedropper before the next morning, and the kitten will die.

This scenario literally haunts me to the point where I have programed two numbers in my phone for 24 hour pet emergencies. If you want them:

Manhattan: Animal Medical Center- 212 838 8100
Brooklyn: Brooklyn Vet 24 hours- 718 748 5180

In other news:
My roommates intimidate me because the books they leave about the house are all extremely intelligent and literally. A book of general psychology sits balanced on the couch near my copy of Weird Al's Complete Video Collection. The Best American Short Stories Never Read is perched on my breakfast nook. A book analyzing Greek myths on my pile of Archie Comics by the toilet. It makde me feel mentally emasculated.

BUT THEN I realized that these books are not in my roommates' hands. They are not in their rooms, or by their beds. It is possible that these books are not being read AT ALL. As a rule of thumb, the further a book is from your bedroom, the least likely you are reading it.

Me feel better.

TODAY IN FEELING AT HOME:


As some of you might know I am delightfully unemployed at the moment having been released from my bizarre and pathetic TV production job last week. I will spare you the details of my firing, although they were epic, just because I know that my ex-boss obsessively checked my blog in the past to find insults about him or herself written with in and I don't want to deal with the 300 pissed off emails that would ensue :)

Being unemployed rules. The only downside is the lack of money! I don't mean that sarcastically at all. Money is important but so is being happy, not wanting to slap people, having the freedom to see a movie in the middle of day and of course, drink a beer at 5pm, like I am doing now.

The other great thing is that you notice all these things you missed because you were never around for them! Here is the greatest one so far:

My landlord, Janusz, has a good buddy, who is also Polish. I will call him Jerzy, which I have just learned from a google search is a popular Polish name. I think Janusz was a solider at some point because he has a tattoo of a sexy lady (60 year old people + sexy lady tattoo = solider, circa: Phaea's World) and I think his buddy was too because he has the beard, hair and clothing style of the hippie side of Vietnam Vet. Janusz would be the Midwestern version, IE cleaner cut, beefier, friendly, vet. Anyway, those are all assumptions. Here are the FACTS:

- Janusz and Jerzy were prying out bricks from a exterior doorway this morning around 10am.
- Jerzy has a lovely tiny dog which I would confidently call a daschund mixed with a chocolate poodle.
- The Tiny Dog is called Coco.
- Coco's toenails is painted bright pink.
- Coco's owner was drinking a 40 of Colt 45 while bashing away at bricks.
- I love Coco, Janusz, and especially Jerzy.

Delightful to be home.

* NOTE: I just ran into my friend Eugene who is Polish and he told me there was no war 40 years ago in Poland. The Tattoo remains a mystery.

TODAY IN CLIPS I JACKED FROM PEREZ HILTON OF THE DAILY SHOW ABOUT SARAH PALIN:





Did everyone see this already? I doesn't care. Is hilarious.

TODAY IN THINGS THAT NEW YORK CITY PRODUCED:







Proud? I am.

TODAY IN THANKS FACEBOOK!:

August 31

Last week you were viewed for dating 2 times and no people expressed interest in you. Check your Social Profile
3:49pm