Tuesday, December 02, 2008

TODAY IN SUBWAY STRANGERS:

We all hate people, especially people we don't know. And of course, we most hate people we don't know on the subway because we might be trapped in a moving box or underground station with a scary starer, over talker, smelly belly, train pusher-underer, or just your everyday psychopathic teenager (why are they so loud??!!).

So imagine my horror this morning on the C train platform (little known fact- the C is the G train of blue trains!) when out of the corner of of eye I realized there was a stranger standing directly. behind. me.

They were about as far away from me as a boyfriend might stand behind a girlfriend right before he protectively throws an arm around her belly OR a train pusher-underer right before they psychotically throw a pushing you on to the train arm out.

Now, There was plenty of room on the station platform on either side, and so this was a disturbing, even threatening move by this stranger (with or with out candy. I didn't/don't care).

I turned my head slightly to get a better look. The stranger, out of the corner of my eye, appeared to be a short, teen or early 20's Asian girl. For obvious reasons this deepened my terror. I knew I had to act. My heart pounded as I spun around and faced....

...the giant head of Will Smith on a Seven Pounds movie poster 6 feet away from me.

Well, you can see why I was confused:



Oh wait. No you can't. That doesn't make any sense.

Even worse, five seconds later I was fooled again.

Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon? If you have please post at:

IthoughWillSmithWasanAsianStrangerStandingBehindMe.com


STARTLING UPDATE: Today at my office two late teens/early 20's Asian woman I HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE walked into my room and stood for MORE THEN FIVE MINUTES in my blind spot talking quietly to themselves.

I want you to know that I reached into my pen cup slipped a pair of scissors into my lap JUST IN CASE. I am not kidding. The scissor handles are blue.

2 comments:

natalie said...

I heart the c train

lucas said...

Be careful not to stab any life-sized Hancock cutouts at work...

or any coworkers. don't stab them either.

how soon can I expect you to wear a headband with a small rear-view mirror alldayeveryday?