Thursday, May 22, 2008


I used to have this great way to make oatmeal. It was heated up in the microwave with water, then tossed with soy milk, tossed with toasted walnuts, TOASTED mind you, and then swirled with honey. It really was the best oatmeal combo that ever existed and as far as I'm concerned all other oatmeals can go die.

Sudden realization: "can go die" is a direct quote from a Henry Rollins spoken work album I love called "A Rollins in the Wry", and this whole time I thought it was a phrase I came up with.

So anyway, the trick to the oatmeal is in the toasting of the walnuts. With out a toaster oven you have no hope. Walnuts toasted in a real oven will definitely burn. So I have not had that oatmeal I love since Park Slope, 2005. What a jones.

In other news, my boyfriend says I'm a hipster. (yes, I realize now refer to my boyfriend in every post. thats love, so suck it! Ohhh- "suck it" is a direct quote from a stand-up comic I used to see at open mic nights who did a really hilarious impression of Frank Sinatra!) I say I am not a hipster because I got to bed so early and I have a job. He says I am because:

1) I have bangs.
2) I live in Greenpoint.
3) We once spent a day shopping for a belt buckle for me.

my answers:

1) I have had bangs ever since I was born, but just took a break from them from 2003-2008. Mom, do we have any digital evidence?
2) Greenpoint is the only place worth living, because of the coffee shops, the low rent and the fact that you can see the river.
3) We were in LA at the time and I was not myself.

I told him all this, adding that accusing me of being a hipster in this manner was equivalent to accusing a cow of being a horse because it has four legs, lives in a barn, and eats hay. Justin said I was wrong, and did that giggle thing that he does when he is sure he is right. To which I responded, and I quote:

"What ever dude, I am not a hipster. I am just going to ignore you now and listen to my ipod."

With out any irony mind you.

But seriously, I am not a hipster. As my Dad would say when asked if he was a hippy back in the day, I can't afford the clothes.

Phaea, out!

5 comments: said...

i'm on his side

obsidian moonyap said...

I vote you're not a hipster because you have a personality and hipsters are soul-less.

Next time, just say this: "I may have some slight outward appearance of hipsterdom, but at least I'm not a back-woods hick."

gets me everytime.

Abbi said...

Everyone is a hipster. It goes beyond race and class, and rests solely on the fact of whether or not you like Kraft macaroni and cheese.

obsidian moonyap said...

Kraft: If you like it you are or arent hip(ster)? Where I come from, Kraft is the fancy mac n' cheese. What, are you made of money? Ok, well off to the demolition derby! Oh shit, my tooth just fell out.

Shatraw said...

wait, who is a backwoods hick?