Monday, April 14, 2008

TODAY IN DAVID SCHWIMMER:

Just in case you were wondering, here is a play by play of my thoughts while I watched "Run, Fat Boy, Run" this weekend:

"Oh weird, Thandie Newton with a bad English accent..."

"Simon Pegg has long hair? That looks lame."

"Wait, wait, wait...Thandie Newton banged Simon Pegg? Come ON."

white noise....

"Hank Azaria? What the fuck?"

"Wow, Hank Azaria's playing the hunky jerk....that's...interesting."

"Why do so many women in movies own bakeries? I wish I had a cupcake..."

"Why would running a marathon matter to anyone at all?"

"Why are those people playing cards in the back of that piano warehouse all the time?"

white noise....

"Ok...Simon Pegg can run a little....he still sucks....Oh good, he found his kid in a tree...thats.....great."

"Oh cool Hank Azaria said the name of the movie. That ties it all up."

"Seriously Hank Azaria? You just called the 5 year old a little shit and you think that Thandie Newton with NOT break up with you?

"Oh man Simon Pegg is running the marathon on a sprained ankle...wait they said it was broken? Ok, now they say it is sprained. Run Simon Pegg....for some reason..."

"He doesn't even get the girl? What the hell movie? NOW you are going to be realistic? Now?"

"Oh, David SCHWIMMER. I think I thought Duchovny directed this. That makes more sense."

3 comments:

Shatraw said...

duchovny would never go near crap like this. he's too busy being the god that is known as "hank moody."


the saddest part is that michael ian black wrote this screenplay. apparently the sierra mist ads weren't paying the bills anymore.

Kablack said...

Phaea --

all movie reviews should be written like this.

*not sarcasm*

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Damn dirty apes.

Abbi said...

LOL, Maggie Gyllenhaal inexplicably runs a bakery in that one movie! Will Ferrell, Queen Latifah and Emma Thompson...what was it called? Country Grammar? Oh, I just imdb'd it. Stranger Than Fiction. I like my version better. And I like your blog better than David Schwimmer.