TODAY IN DAVID SCHWIMMER:
Just in case you were wondering, here is a play by play of my thoughts while I watched "Run, Fat Boy, Run" this weekend:
"Oh weird, Thandie Newton with a bad English accent..."
"Simon Pegg has long hair? That looks lame."
"Wait, wait, wait...Thandie Newton banged Simon Pegg? Come ON."
"Hank Azaria? What the fuck?"
"Wow, Hank Azaria's playing the hunky jerk....that's...interesting."
"Why do so many women in movies own bakeries? I wish I had a cupcake..."
"Why would running a marathon matter to anyone at all?"
"Why are those people playing cards in the back of that piano warehouse all the time?"
"Ok...Simon Pegg can run a little....he still sucks....Oh good, he found his kid in a tree...thats.....great."
"Oh cool Hank Azaria said the name of the movie. That ties it all up."
"Seriously Hank Azaria? You just called the 5 year old a little shit and you think that Thandie Newton with NOT break up with you?
"Oh man Simon Pegg is running the marathon on a sprained ankle...wait they said it was broken? Ok, now they say it is sprained. Run Simon Pegg....for some reason..."
"He doesn't even get the girl? What the hell movie? NOW you are going to be realistic? Now?"
"Oh, David SCHWIMMER. I think I thought Duchovny directed this. That makes more sense."