Saturday, February 09, 2008


62 members of the Gambino Family were arrested this week and the NY paper coverage has been splendid. AM NY wins the prize for the most unintentionally hilarious "explanation" of some gangster nick names:

"Many of the alleged mobsters in Thursday’s 80-count indictment have taken part in the long-standing mob tradition of bestowing nicknames on its members. A sampling of recent and past nicknames:

■Joseph “Joey the Clown” Lombardo: Alifelong gangster most recently arrested in 2006, he earned his name by making cheesy jokes and trying to evade reporters by hiding his face behind a newspaper.

Ah, the classic clown move of newspaper hiding- a tradition based in Comedia Del' art, of course.

■Anthony“Fat Tony”Salerno: The late boss of the Genovese crime family,he was famously rotund.

Thanks Am NY! That clears that long- confusing nick name up for us!

■Salvatore “Good-looking Sal” Vitale: A Bonanno crime boss who turned federal witness, some say his nickname came about as a joke,since he is not a handsome man.

The key word in this sentence that I love is "some say". Ha ha ha! Am Ny has "people on the street" working "undercover" to solve these "mysteries".

■Thomas “Tommy Sneakers” Cacciopoli: Among those named in Thursday’s indictment,he was a boss in the New Jersey section of the Gambino family. Cacciopoli is said to have a profound love of sneakers.

I'm sorry, a PROFOUND love for sneakers? That's a mental disorder. The poor guy just probably wore sneakers a lot and now AM has made him into an OCD type who got dropped on his head a lot.

■John “Jackie the Nose” D’Amico: Also named in Thursday’s indictment,he was said to be one of John Gotti’s most trusted lieutenants,and owner of a somewhat prominent nose. "

....and not, as we suspected originally, a possessor of amazing truffle hunting skills!

Shockingly, they forget to mention all these fabulous nick-named wise guys:

Joey "Wii-playing" Ciccerelli: Insiders say he was insane for Wii bowling, and racketeering.
Antonio "two feet" Roccoco: Ran a gambling ring in Harlem, rumored to have had two feet.
Vincenzo "not a gangster" Rosselli: Right hand man to Bonanno family capos. Word on the street is that his nickname was some what "ironic".


Shatraw said...

the real question: what would your mob name be?

i think you're "The Fox."

i want to be "Steel Toe Shatraw." or "Six Strings"... not because i play the guitar, but because i strangle rats with guitar strings.

i mean it IS the mafia after all.

Phaea C. said...

Those are good! the mafia LOVES alliteration!

phaea "the fox" crede