Monday, February 25, 2008

TODAY IN CHUB:

This past weekend I was having a beer with a buddy of the male variety when he asked me to set him up with some of my hot facebook friends. Always a sucker for the match maker roll, I asked him about his type. "Skinny", he said. "Skinny?" I responded? "Yah," He continued, "No chubs."

What a catch, right ladies?

Beyond the fact that it's hilarious to disregard all other body types as attractive, beyond the fact that "skinny" does not mean "thin" or even "pretty", the fact that the person in question was not a rippling male model type man - but rather a normal dude in an over sized sweater, the worst thing about this conversation was that I was included in on it. As if the fact that I am on the thin side made me a perfect conspirator for his bizarre admission. As if I would glance around and then pull my bar stool closer and whisper "Yes friend, lets rid the world of these chubby women, mwaa ha ha ha!!".

It was like a seemingly-normal white dude suddenly saying to me "Man, how much do you hate those jews?" Worse then the actual statement is the fact that he looked at me and assumed I felt the same way. Gaaaaah.

Beyond the assumption of this narrow minded thinking, my friend assumes so many delicious things: that I was never chubby myself? Never loved a chubby girl? Didn't have any close chubby girl friends? Did not have a chubby mother? Did not have a chubby grandma? Does this mean that if one of my skinny friends gains some weight while dating him, that she must be returned to my care?

These thoughts weigh heavily on my mind, and unfortunately the extra weight from them pushes me over the skinny mark in my friends mental bathroom scale...sigh. You lose the best guy friends that way.

7 comments:

tomemos said...

Great post.

Phaea C. said...

thanks Tom!

Carolyn said...

I don't know what you're talking about. I have to go throw up now.

Kablack said...

Narrow? Shallow? Insensitive? Sure. Unfortunately though, hardly surprising. I mean, the entire impetus for the conversation was that this guy was looking for a potential hookup/partner/mate by trolling through facebook photos. That's pretty superficial to begin with. And specifically asking to meet your "hot" friends? The skinny request just seems like the next logical step in the conversation. Then again, wouldn't it have been weirder if he had asked to meet your ugly friends? I'm just sayin'

Nanook said...

This is a male, status, stupid, crap, stupid media crap thing. I knew a dude in high school once who dated a girl that all his friends called fat, but it was all bullshit - she couldn't have been more than 5-10 pounds away from what would have been "hot," but men are so hung up on crappity crap crap. sigh.

Shatraw said...

i think it's time i WEIGH in on this issue.



hah, no, i'm just kidding. i just wanted to make that joke.


bye!

the guy in question said...

Well, as the said guy, for the record, it was mostly said in jest, and i do have a chubby mom, hence my aversion, and i wasnt trolling for hookups, i happened to notice the abundance of attractive friends while looking at the event that i was nice enough to attend... sigh,

mostly though im upset you dont like my sweater.