TODAY IN THE NEWS OF THE DAY'S NEWS:
1) The Mets beat the Red Sox and signed the elusive pitcher Johan Santana. That's funny, don't the Mets usually just take the Red Sox old, worn out pitchers when we're done with them? I guess Santana likes just pitching to pitch, and doesn't actually care about WINNING GAMES!!! (Sorry Shatraw)
2) Saw the crazy puppy-freezer lady again on the train. I feel like she is going to come up behind me and shank me. Why? Just a feeling.
3) I GOT ON A MAUDE TEAM AT THE UCB!! Maude teams are the house sketch teams for the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre. Every month we will preform a brand new sketch show, and I will be one of the actors. Needless to say this is probably one of the cooler things I've managed to pull off in my comedy career! So I am pleased.