Tuesday, November 27, 2007

TODAY IN FUNG WAH:



I grew up in Boston and I travel back there pretty often to visit the 'rents. Every time I mention a past or future trip every single person says... oh do you take the Fung Wah (AKA the $15 Chinatown bus)? And I say, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT!!!

Usually the people in question are shocked. "Why?" they quibble "Why would you EVER take anything else when could get there for cheap?" (Just because its cheap does not make it the appropriate choice of vehicular travel!!!!)And before I can even launch into my arguments against the bus, EVERYONE OF THESE PEOPLE START TELLING ME A HORROR STORY FROM THE STUPID FUNG WAH!

Here are the two I heard today:

James bought a ticket and tried to get on the bus. He was told he could not, with out an explanation. He tried another bus. They denied him as well. Finally he was told to stand on a platform, which he did. A bus pulled up and the driver yelled at him that there was no standing on the platform allowed, not since 9/11.

Nick took a bus with a student driver. The driver drove 40 miles an hour all the way to Boston. The normally 4 hour trip stretched into a strengthy 6 hours. Also, all the lights on the bus were broken, so he enjoyed this trip in darkness.

Here is the one that happened to me:

We stopped at a Roy Rogers and when we came out the bus was gone. It eventually came back. Eventually.

Here is the urban myth:

The bus caught on fire and all the luggage melted. When the bus pulled up in New York the driver jumped out and ran into the Fung Wah store front and shut all the doors.

And

The drivers don't have licences. And they are drunk.

What ever. This bus sucks. Stop taking it! Or rather, take it all you want but don't scoff at my when I drop $100 for a lovely acela train with big comfy seats, a club car, and the indoorness of Penn Station. We all have our own tastes in travel.

Oh and Fung Wah means Magnificent Wind.

1 comment:

Abbi said...

Before the bus left, I saw the driver hiding under a stairwell smoking from a bong made out of a water bottle. At the rest stop, everyone had boarded with their food, and the driver was missing. I went to the door, and saw him crouched along the side of the bus with the bong again.

Can't we all just get a-bong?