Monday, May 30, 2011


So, my brain detox was a bit of a failure on the TV front because of all the TV I watched. Technically it was a failure on the facebook front too, because I swore I wouldn't use it for a week and only made it five days. But in those five days I really learned a lot about my dependence on that fucking social website. For one, nothing I do seems real unless I take a picture of it and post it onto facebook. There were so many times last week when I found myself taking a photo of a pie I made and almost sending it to my profile. Why? Does it seem like unless the internet knows I made a pie, then the pie didn't matter? Was enjoying the pie myself not satisfying enough for me? Do I really need to the support of my friends to justify everything I do? Five days of not falling for that, and my life seems a little bit more of my own again.

Second, I was much less judgmental. In the weeks leading up to my detox I had been overwhelmed by extremely personal information from some of my fbf's. Things that I didn't want to know. Things that I only knew a portion of and had to -- unfairly --  guess at the rest of the details. Things that made me sad, mad, and a gossip hound dying for any scrap of info I could gather. It was an ugly side of me that I didn't like. Facebook also tends to make my self-righteous side come out. "I can't BELIEVE she's doing THAT!" "I can't BELIEVE he POSTED that!" I would huff and puff and scream at the walls "don't they know the internet is FOREVER?". Who needs that attitude? No one. Certainly not my friends. Sometimes when you're in the mood to feel angry, facebook is a great place to go. It feeds my addiction to feel better than, AND when my friends announce shows or babies it feeds my addiction to feel less than! Both of those suck. Five days with out facebook and I had nothing to compete with, so I felt good. 

Finally, I realized that I really do appreciate facebook. I can keep up with people I'm not very close to, scan my list of friends to potential casting opportunities, and stalk my husband when I am out of town. All of those things are totally healthy. I guess I just need, like everything else, to use facebook in moderation, which is something I am terrible at. 

But I am never, ever giving up TV.  

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