TODAY IN FUCK THIS ALREADY:

I registers on The Knot for the "wedding" that I am going be having and they created a "to do" list for me.



(Close Up)



Yep. 368 items to do. I assume they include:

- Pre-lacing my bath towels
- Sanitizing my lips for church kissing
- Setting up a series of tests for my girlfriends to determine who deserves to be a bridesmaid the most
- Chasing unicorns to grind their horns into a special wedding powder

Jokes on them. I don't have any girlfriends!