TODAY IN STUFF MY BOYFRIEND SAID TO ME THIS WEEKEND:



"Wait...are you getting religion?"

"I have to torture you in the morning because that's when your defenses are low."

ME: If I am in a coma, let me die.
HIM: No.

TODAY IN FUCK THIS ALREADY:

I registers on The Knot for the "wedding" that I am going be having and they created a "to do" list for me.



(Close Up)



Yep. 368 items to do. I assume they include:

- Pre-lacing my bath towels
- Sanitizing my lips for church kissing
- Setting up a series of tests for my girlfriends to determine who deserves to be a bridesmaid the most
- Chasing unicorns to grind their horns into a special wedding powder

Jokes on them. I don't have any girlfriends!

TODAY IN CRAVINGS:

I am craving both bologna and duck liver pate.

Not sure what that means at all.

TODAY IN HALLOWEEN TRADITIONS AND ACCIDENTS

Justin and I had a very traditional Halloween by eating sushi and buying the double set DVD of "Romancing the Stone" and "The Jewel of the Nile". We made it through the first movie and decided to enjoy some of the awesome extras (including a piece called "Michael Douglas Remembers", obviously the best title ever to anything. Ever.)

We clicked on "A Hidden Treasure" , a featurette about the screenwriter Diane Thomas. Apparently she had been plucked from obscurity (AKA waitressing) when Michael Douglas bought her screen play for $250,000 in 1984.

Then shit got weird. I am going to paraphrase here, but this is basically what Michael Douglas said.

MICHAEL DOUGLAS; (talking to the camera) I Bought Diane a Porsche as a present. She came over to show me the new Porsche I got her, and that was the last time I saw her. Three weeks later she crashed it and died.

Um.

UM.....

Michael Douglas...you should not tell people that story.