Friday, April 25, 2008

TODAY IN BIG ENTERTAINMENT NEWS OF THE DAYS NEWS DAY:

1) Jimmy Fallon has officially been named as the successor to Conan O'Brian when Conan takes over the Tonight Show in 2009. I for one am really looking forward to an hour of Jimmy breaking character and cracking up every 30 seconds. Oh wait...no I am not. Jimmy Fallon BLOWS.

2) Wesley Snipes is going to jail for 3 years. Holy shit. He was convicted by the government (IE the IRS). OK, tax fraud is a bad crime, but I am TERRIFIED at the power/evil of the IRS. I mean, 3 FUCKING YEARS in JAIL!???? Lets recap:

Foxy Brown: 8 months in jail, for assault.
The cops who shot Sean Bell to death: 0 months in jail.
Wesley Snipes: 3 years in jail for being a major dick about gov't money.

Good lord IRS. You have officially struck fear into my heart. Thanks a lot.

3) Amy Winehouse has been arrested for headbutting a dude who hailed a cab for her. OMG you guys! Amy is tired of just hurting herself! Amy is looking to take everyone down with her! Perhaps her next album will be contaminated with anthrax.

As a side note, IRS, I love you. Honest to god. Please don't kill me!

4 comments:

slanchreport.com said...

jimmy fallon sucks

i hate jimmy fallon

even if he was hilarious, which he aint i'd hate him for making that fever pitch movie with drew barrymore and being on the field when the sox won in '04

nbc should have gotten dave hill to be the new conan

Phaea C. said...

OMG Dave hill would have been AMAZING.

natalie said...

That puts things into perspective. We love money enough to put someone in Jail for not paying up!

I HEART $$$$$!

Kablack said...

Phaea,

Jokes about anthrax are not funny.

Anthrax is a deadly biological agent that has been used against American citizens and,tragically, cost some of them their lives.

Please refrain from such tasteless humor in the future.

Your friend in Christ,
Aaron K.