Friday, November 09, 2007


Rejection seems like a pretty common experience among my "creative" friends and I. It seems like everywhere you turn (The E train, my apartment, Watertown, MA) there is someone being sent a letter or "email" saying that our stuff just ain't quite good enough. Rather then let these brilliant stories die, I choose to give mine new life! On a blog! Which is like purgatory.

Here is it-

The Rejected Asparagus Anecdote

(real title withheld to protect the rejector!)

Recently, I was using the paragliding lesson I had accidentally won at Fredrick’s of Hollywood Fashion Show/AIDS Benefit auction while trying to wave away Tara Reid. My co-glider/instructor, a burly Czech by the name of Pavel, and I were cruising pleasantly along when a sudden back draft from a large seabird sent us spinning out of control, landing finally in a nearby vegetable garden belonging to Woody Harrelson.

Ever the prepared host, Woody rushed to our side carrying a small first aid kit as well as a tray of asparagus-and-hemp amuse bouches of his own design.

Shaken as I was, I had no problem recalling my distaste for this particular vegetable (asparagus, not hemp) dating back to my childhood when our ruddy faced cook Maureen, resorted to hiding them ice cream sandwiches to guarantee I’d ingest the much needed dietary fiber. For years I associated ice cream with odd smelling urine, and as a result, felt robbed of a time when I might have enjoyed sugar and dairy,liposuction free.

But, looking into to Woody’s droopy yet bright puppy eyes, I couldn’t help but nibble on the h’orderves,and with a renewed strength and slight contact high, Pavel and I took to the skies again, this time on the look out for any wayward seagulls.


Shatraw said...

uh. you know should have been rejected?

baby geniuses 2.

woody harrelson will probably option the rights to this, i think.

Timothy said...

Baby Genius' 2 was listed on as one of the top ten worst rated movies of all time!