Hey Red Sox.
Fuck you.
You lost a fan today. And I really, really liked you.
Lets hear it for an other 86 years you morons.
Go Mets!!!!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
TODAY IN REPOSTS OF POSTS FROM THE PAST:
I found this classic Phroofie Crede post from last November, and I think its really funny. There for I am posting it again.
(this is a list of public domain songs, and my hilarious reaction to them)
When I Do the Hoochy Coochy in de Sky - Wow.
Waiting for the Robert E. Lee - Me too!
When This Dreadful War Is Ended- 1863
When This Cruel War is Over- 1885 - What a rip off!
Who Let the Cows Out? - moo. moo moo moo moo.
Willie's Fatal Visit - Tragic.
Tell My Jesus "Morning" - And also whats up.
Thriller!, The [Rag] - It sounds thrilling.
Too Late! Too Late! - Oh no!!
Too Much Raspberry - Most people with a complaint about a fruit tart would just tell the baker, not write a song about it.
Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! - YOU are!
Scabs Crawl In, The - Ew.
Shake Yo' Dusters! - ...if you're a true player.
She Is More to Be Pitied Than Censured - Well, thats very well thought out.
She Was Bred In Old Kentucky – They better be talking about a horse.
Strike Up the Band--Here Comes a Sailor - Alllllright!
Run, Nigger, Run – Eeeeeeeeee.
Pirates of Penzance – What? The whole thing? Is that why every Middle School drama club performs it??
Oh Miss, I'll Give You a Paper of Pins – Um, pass?
No Irish Need Apply – Eeeeeeeeeee.
Mister Beveridge's Maggot
Mister Isaac's Maggot
Mister Lane's Maggot – I am hoping “maggot” is synonym for something else…other wise I REALLY don’t get the late 1600’s.
My Honolulu Tomboy – ha ha ha
My Moustache –ha ha ha
My Sweetheart's the Man in the Moon – Finally! A song for lonely female astronomists!
Love Is Like A Cigarette - Agreed! Cancer causing and makes you smell funny.
Kiss Me Quick and Go Buckley - You go Buckley, you jerk.
Jack's Maggot- Again!
Jenny Come Tie My Cravat - A timeless song.
Jerry, Go and Oil that Car - Jenny's answer?
I and Satan Had a Race – Guess who won?
I Love Little Pussy – my #1 favorite PD song of all time.
Hallelujah, I'm a Bum - Thats just awesome.
Hare's Maggot, The – AGAIN!!!
Her Eyes Don't Shine Like Diamonds – Ouch.
Hooking Cow Blues, The - Cows who hook are sad.
Hypocrite and the Concubine, The- That's a Brothers Grim tale right?
Get Thee Behind Me, Mr. Satan – Not just a White Stripes album anymore.
Good Humored and Fairly Tipsy – the Phaea Crede story.
Dick o' the Cow - Oh god. Can't stop laughing.
Dick's Maggot – HOLY CHRIST!
Draper's Maggot- ITS A CONSPIRACY!
Chin Chin Chinaman – Eeeeeeeeee.
All Coons Look Alike to Me – Eeeeeeeeeee.
I found this classic Phroofie Crede post from last November, and I think its really funny. There for I am posting it again.
(this is a list of public domain songs, and my hilarious reaction to them)
When I Do the Hoochy Coochy in de Sky - Wow.
Waiting for the Robert E. Lee - Me too!
When This Dreadful War Is Ended- 1863
When This Cruel War is Over- 1885 - What a rip off!
Who Let the Cows Out? - moo. moo moo moo moo.
Willie's Fatal Visit - Tragic.
Tell My Jesus "Morning" - And also whats up.
Thriller!, The [Rag] - It sounds thrilling.
Too Late! Too Late! - Oh no!!
Too Much Raspberry - Most people with a complaint about a fruit tart would just tell the baker, not write a song about it.
Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! - YOU are!
Scabs Crawl In, The - Ew.
Shake Yo' Dusters! - ...if you're a true player.
She Is More to Be Pitied Than Censured - Well, thats very well thought out.
She Was Bred In Old Kentucky – They better be talking about a horse.
Strike Up the Band--Here Comes a Sailor - Alllllright!
Run, Nigger, Run – Eeeeeeeeee.
Pirates of Penzance – What? The whole thing? Is that why every Middle School drama club performs it??
Oh Miss, I'll Give You a Paper of Pins – Um, pass?
No Irish Need Apply – Eeeeeeeeeee.
Mister Beveridge's Maggot
Mister Isaac's Maggot
Mister Lane's Maggot – I am hoping “maggot” is synonym for something else…other wise I REALLY don’t get the late 1600’s.
My Honolulu Tomboy – ha ha ha
My Moustache –ha ha ha
My Sweetheart's the Man in the Moon – Finally! A song for lonely female astronomists!
Love Is Like A Cigarette - Agreed! Cancer causing and makes you smell funny.
Kiss Me Quick and Go Buckley - You go Buckley, you jerk.
Jack's Maggot- Again!
Jenny Come Tie My Cravat - A timeless song.
Jerry, Go and Oil that Car - Jenny's answer?
I and Satan Had a Race – Guess who won?
I Love Little Pussy – my #1 favorite PD song of all time.
Hallelujah, I'm a Bum - Thats just awesome.
Hare's Maggot, The – AGAIN!!!
Her Eyes Don't Shine Like Diamonds – Ouch.
Hooking Cow Blues, The - Cows who hook are sad.
Hypocrite and the Concubine, The- That's a Brothers Grim tale right?
Get Thee Behind Me, Mr. Satan – Not just a White Stripes album anymore.
Good Humored and Fairly Tipsy – the Phaea Crede story.
Dick o' the Cow - Oh god. Can't stop laughing.
Dick's Maggot – HOLY CHRIST!
Draper's Maggot- ITS A CONSPIRACY!
Chin Chin Chinaman – Eeeeeeeeee.
All Coons Look Alike to Me – Eeeeeeeeeee.
TODAY IN ME ON STAGE:
A live game show featuring three contestants chosen randomly from the audience to answer questions about politics, pop culture, and other things you should already know!
Hosted by John Frusciante
Written by John Frusciante, Aaron Glaser & Jon Gutierrez
Featuring Ari Scott and Mike Still
(and Phaea Crede as the time keeper/score keeper! Yes! I made it!)
Be there.
A live game show featuring three contestants chosen randomly from the audience to answer questions about politics, pop culture, and other things you should already know!
Hosted by John Frusciante
Written by John Frusciante, Aaron Glaser & Jon Gutierrez
Featuring Ari Scott and Mike Still
(and Phaea Crede as the time keeper/score keeper! Yes! I made it!)
Be there.
TODAY IN NIHILO SANCTUM ESTNE:
From the Gothamist:
July 30, 2008
Rififi to Close, the Laughter Dies Tonight!
Troubled comedy hotspot Rififi (also known as Cinema Classics) will close tonight due to “an impasse with the landlord,” who is now “asking for substantially more money,” according to Matt Ruby's blog Sandpaper Suit. One "disillusioned ex-employee" tells Gothamist that “employees received text messages yesterday announcing tonight (Wednesday) as the last night open. One day’s notice, and there was a crazy insinuation that if more money had been made over the weekend the venue could have been open for another month, which seems to contradict the claim the landlord is the reason for the closure. Who knows at this point? Tonight is, as far as I know, the last night. It's being treated as such by the comedians and employees.”
Is nothing sacred?
From the Gothamist:
July 30, 2008
Rififi to Close, the Laughter Dies Tonight!
Troubled comedy hotspot Rififi (also known as Cinema Classics) will close tonight due to “an impasse with the landlord,” who is now “asking for substantially more money,” according to Matt Ruby's blog Sandpaper Suit. One "disillusioned ex-employee" tells Gothamist that “employees received text messages yesterday announcing tonight (Wednesday) as the last night open. One day’s notice, and there was a crazy insinuation that if more money had been made over the weekend the venue could have been open for another month, which seems to contradict the claim the landlord is the reason for the closure. Who knows at this point? Tonight is, as far as I know, the last night. It's being treated as such by the comedians and employees.”
Is nothing sacred?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
TODAY IN MY REVIEWS OF THE ADULT SWIM LINE UP WATCHED MOSTLY WHILE I WAS ON HOLD WITH JET BLUE:
Metalocalypse:
This show looks amazing. I think its about an angry Heavy Metal group. They are really intense and hilarious. One of them is on a game show and now appears to be famous. The show ends with a hard metal song and then I think the Earth explodes. Works for me.
-----hold music! did you know that Jet Blue travels to 50 destinations world wide?---
Fat Guy Stuck in the Internet:
Every performer on this show is amazing, why does it seem to be so weak? OK a pirate ship...thats cool I gues....Brett Gellman! Wait, is that how you say his name or am I transposing two UCB performers? God this show should be amazing and it ISN'T! I think. What the hell!!!
-----hold music! Thank you for not flying!------------
Venture Brothers:
Hmmm. Seems kind of like another all skate with all the characters I already know too much about. At least we got a week off from the Monarch. I hate back story in cartoons....oh god, does that make me shallow? Fuck! Fuck! At least Brock has some lines this time. WAIT A SECOND that isn't Steven Colbert! GOD are the Venture Brothers even IN this anymore? I miss season one.
-----hold music. Jet Blue offers terra chips and a variety of other snacks! Thanks for waiting!-----
Tim and Eric- Awesome Show Great Job:
YES! I love this! Old guy remix with the Great Job! Woo Hoo! Tiny Tigers! That Rules. Oh, and Dr. Steve Brule is back...eh not the best cameo but, Tiny Tigers!! This is the best show on TV! Who needs context! Tiny Tigers! Right? Am I right?
----hold music. Hello can I help you?
Phaea: Oh hey, can I change to an earlier flight tomorrow?
Jet Blue: No.
Phaea: Goddamn it.
Metalocalypse:
This show looks amazing. I think its about an angry Heavy Metal group. They are really intense and hilarious. One of them is on a game show and now appears to be famous. The show ends with a hard metal song and then I think the Earth explodes. Works for me.-----hold music! did you know that Jet Blue travels to 50 destinations world wide?---
Fat Guy Stuck in the Internet:
Every performer on this show is amazing, why does it seem to be so weak? OK a pirate ship...thats cool I gues....Brett Gellman! Wait, is that how you say his name or am I transposing two UCB performers? God this show should be amazing and it ISN'T! I think. What the hell!!!-----hold music! Thank you for not flying!------------
Venture Brothers:
Hmmm. Seems kind of like another all skate with all the characters I already know too much about. At least we got a week off from the Monarch. I hate back story in cartoons....oh god, does that make me shallow? Fuck! Fuck! At least Brock has some lines this time. WAIT A SECOND that isn't Steven Colbert! GOD are the Venture Brothers even IN this anymore? I miss season one.-----hold music. Jet Blue offers terra chips and a variety of other snacks! Thanks for waiting!-----
Tim and Eric- Awesome Show Great Job:
YES! I love this! Old guy remix with the Great Job! Woo Hoo! Tiny Tigers! That Rules. Oh, and Dr. Steve Brule is back...eh not the best cameo but, Tiny Tigers!! This is the best show on TV! Who needs context! Tiny Tigers! Right? Am I right?----hold music. Hello can I help you?
Phaea: Oh hey, can I change to an earlier flight tomorrow?
Jet Blue: No.
Phaea: Goddamn it.
TODAY IN MY WEEKEND ADVENTURES:
This past weekend was one of my trips up to Northern New York to visit my amazing boyfriend and his family. A few things were learned that I very much would like to share with you.
1) If your flight is delayed, go to the bar and get drunk. Do not get in the unmoving customer service line for an hour to beg for a stand-by ticket for a flight that is leaving 45 min earlier only to be beaten out for the last stand by seats by Tom and Julie, your married college friends from California that you suddenly run into at the Jet Blue gate and who randomly are also trying to get to Burlington, VT.
2) When walking up a rapid-speckled rain-swollen mountain stream in your flip flops and one of them pops off and starts to go down a small waterfall do not dive in after it, losing your other flip flop and being washed head first down said waterfall, still trying to grab at each shoe, thrash wildly in neck deep water, until the rapids deposit your bruised body to a huge mossy rock, to which you cling as your boyfriend has to throw his backpack aside and dive in after you to help lift you to safety and then steps in a deep hole while trying to get his backpack back.
3) If you are hungry, do make turkey burgers with bacon and avocado and caramelized onions on them.
4) If you are thirsty, absolutely do get drunk by the Raquette River in Potsdam and talk about Black Adder.
This past weekend was one of my trips up to Northern New York to visit my amazing boyfriend and his family. A few things were learned that I very much would like to share with you.
1) If your flight is delayed, go to the bar and get drunk. Do not get in the unmoving customer service line for an hour to beg for a stand-by ticket for a flight that is leaving 45 min earlier only to be beaten out for the last stand by seats by Tom and Julie, your married college friends from California that you suddenly run into at the Jet Blue gate and who randomly are also trying to get to Burlington, VT.
2) When walking up a rapid-speckled rain-swollen mountain stream in your flip flops and one of them pops off and starts to go down a small waterfall do not dive in after it, losing your other flip flop and being washed head first down said waterfall, still trying to grab at each shoe, thrash wildly in neck deep water, until the rapids deposit your bruised body to a huge mossy rock, to which you cling as your boyfriend has to throw his backpack aside and dive in after you to help lift you to safety and then steps in a deep hole while trying to get his backpack back.
3) If you are hungry, do make turkey burgers with bacon and avocado and caramelized onions on them.
4) If you are thirsty, absolutely do get drunk by the Raquette River in Potsdam and talk about Black Adder.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
TODAY IN MY NEW FAVORITE COMPANY:
While walking to the g train today I was annoyed by a group of trucks and men pouring cement into a house lot and blocking the entire sidewalk. Grumpy as I was to have to walk in the street, the inconvenience ended up being a secret surprise as I turned my head and saw the name on the huge concrete pump:
Putzmeister.
Wait, it looks better with an exclamation point.
Putzmeister!!
Thinking I had stumbled across some poor schmuck with the last name that translated into "Penis" "Man" (rough Yiddish translation- my own) and then decided to start a cement pump company, I was delighted.
A little research proved that it was in fact a German company, and that "Putz" in German means "finery", based in the Germen word "putzen" for "to decorate, especially to adorn a church."
Boooring. Who knew that two putz' could have such different meanings? Also proof that Germans are not as fun as Yiddish speaking Jewish Persons.
BUT you know what, its still hilarious, for you see we have a company called:
Finery Master!
Which "Since 1958, [Putzmeister] has developed into one of the leading global providers of concrete pumps, tunnel machines, industrial pumps, mortar machines and professional high-pressure cleaners."
Hire them today!!!!
Also "penis" is German is Penis!!!!!!
BUT colloquially its more referred to as "Schwanz".
So that would have been Schwanzmeister!!! Come on!!!!
note: I just called my friend Bryan who speaks German and asked him how to say penis. I have really, really, good friends.
While walking to the g train today I was annoyed by a group of trucks and men pouring cement into a house lot and blocking the entire sidewalk. Grumpy as I was to have to walk in the street, the inconvenience ended up being a secret surprise as I turned my head and saw the name on the huge concrete pump:
Putzmeister.
Wait, it looks better with an exclamation point.
Putzmeister!!
Thinking I had stumbled across some poor schmuck with the last name that translated into "Penis" "Man" (rough Yiddish translation- my own) and then decided to start a cement pump company, I was delighted.
A little research proved that it was in fact a German company, and that "Putz" in German means "finery", based in the Germen word "putzen" for "to decorate, especially to adorn a church."
Boooring. Who knew that two putz' could have such different meanings? Also proof that Germans are not as fun as Yiddish speaking Jewish Persons.
BUT you know what, its still hilarious, for you see we have a company called:
Finery Master!
Which "Since 1958, [Putzmeister] has developed into one of the leading global providers of concrete pumps, tunnel machines, industrial pumps, mortar machines and professional high-pressure cleaners."
Hire them today!!!!
Also "penis" is German is Penis!!!!!!
BUT colloquially its more referred to as "Schwanz".
So that would have been Schwanzmeister!!! Come on!!!!
note: I just called my friend Bryan who speaks German and asked him how to say penis. I have really, really, good friends.
Monday, July 21, 2008
TODAY IN PICTURE FROM THE FRINGE:
http://capfringe08pix.blogspot.com/2008/07/dorks-on-loose-it-i-awkward.html
Check it out!!!!
http://capfringe08pix.blogspot.com/2008/07/dorks-on-loose-it-i-awkward.html
Check it out!!!!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
TODAY IN METS:
My buddy Slanch has a really sportsy blog, which I enjoy but don't entirely "get" all the time. I was jealous that I could not also write sports posts. But tonight we were all watching the Mets together and this amazing thing happened:
Shot: Pitcher Duaner Sanchez winds up. He is wearing a dusty hat.
Keith Hernandez: That hat has seen some wars!
Gary Cohen: Peloponnesian?
Take a moment.
In the moment of banter around a dusty hat Gary Cohen brought up which war?
Peloponnesian.
I am astounded.
And David Wright got a sweet hit in the top of the 9th that tied the game!
Peloponnesian.
I fucking love baseball.
My buddy Slanch has a really sportsy blog, which I enjoy but don't entirely "get" all the time. I was jealous that I could not also write sports posts. But tonight we were all watching the Mets together and this amazing thing happened:Shot: Pitcher Duaner Sanchez winds up. He is wearing a dusty hat.
Keith Hernandez: That hat has seen some wars!
Gary Cohen: Peloponnesian?
Take a moment.
In the moment of banter around a dusty hat Gary Cohen brought up which war?
Peloponnesian.
I am astounded.
And David Wright got a sweet hit in the top of the 9th that tied the game!
Peloponnesian.
I fucking love baseball.
TODAY IN POLICE ACTION!!!!!:
My friend Jeremy and I just witnessed a police cruiser on 8th Ave. flip on its silent lights and cruise through a red light to make a turn onto 35th St. On closer inspection both the driver and his partner were hold containers of Yolato frozen yogurt.
We identified one of the toppings as Raspberry.
THERE IS NO EMERGENCY IF YOU ARE EATING YOLATO!!!! THERE IS NOT CRIME EMERGENCY WITH YOLATO!!!!
.........
YOLATO!!!!!!
My friend Jeremy and I just witnessed a police cruiser on 8th Ave. flip on its silent lights and cruise through a red light to make a turn onto 35th St. On closer inspection both the driver and his partner were hold containers of Yolato frozen yogurt.
We identified one of the toppings as Raspberry.
THERE IS NO EMERGENCY IF YOU ARE EATING YOLATO!!!! THERE IS NOT CRIME EMERGENCY WITH YOLATO!!!!
.........
YOLATO!!!!!!
TODAY IN NEW OBSESSIONS:
The Denise Richards show. I love this insane woman. I love the production company that signed on to make this "reality show". I love that this show is so well shot and edited that when Denise calls her sister in the middle of the night because she can't sleep, not only are the cameras in her bed room apparently for hours and hours but MAGICALLY there are cameras in her sisters room too!!! That was lucky!!!
I also love LOVE LOVE how much Denise drops the name of the TWO MOVIES she was in: "Wild Things" -1998 and "The World in Not Enough"- 1999. And how everyone around her brings them up like they just happened.
And her interactions with other people are amazing. And totaly real. Here is a clip. Enjoy the realism:
I love this show. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to TV. Worse then that sitcom they tried to make about Abe Lincoln and his black friend. You remember? The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer.
This is worse.
And here is a clip from The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer:
The Denise Richards show. I love this insane woman. I love the production company that signed on to make this "reality show". I love that this show is so well shot and edited that when Denise calls her sister in the middle of the night because she can't sleep, not only are the cameras in her bed room apparently for hours and hours but MAGICALLY there are cameras in her sisters room too!!! That was lucky!!!
I also love LOVE LOVE how much Denise drops the name of the TWO MOVIES she was in: "Wild Things" -1998 and "The World in Not Enough"- 1999. And how everyone around her brings them up like they just happened.
And her interactions with other people are amazing. And totaly real. Here is a clip. Enjoy the realism:
I love this show. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to TV. Worse then that sitcom they tried to make about Abe Lincoln and his black friend. You remember? The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer.
This is worse.
And here is a clip from The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer:
TODAY IN HORN, IE, TOOTING MY OWN:
Check out this article about Delusions of Spandex in the DC Fringe Fest:
"Last week we visited one production because the name sounded funny, because there were no wigs or tacky costumes in the publicity photo and because the theater was air-conditioned ( crucial, folks). "Dorks on the Loose: It I Awkward," at the Warehouse, turned out to be a gem. It's the brainchild of Phaea Crede, 26, and Becca Jones, 27, who run a monthly sketch-comedy show on New York's Lower East Side under the name Delusions of Spandex. Both have training in theater and performance, including time in classes at the Upright Citizens Brigade, but "Dorks" is refreshingly un-highbrow: Over six sketches, the ladies skewer cellphone dependence (that sketch was originally written in a bar, the pair tells us by phone from New York), that "scourge on society" known as the hipster and "women's news." Where Jones is giddy, Crede is deadpan; it adds up to an exuberant 30 minutes. "Dorks on the Loose: It I Awkward" is Saturday at 3 p.m. and midnight. $15. Warehouse Beyond, 1017 Seventh St. NW."
MOTHER FUCKING YAH!!!!!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/07/16/AR2008071603033.html
Check out this article about Delusions of Spandex in the DC Fringe Fest:
"Last week we visited one production because the name sounded funny, because there were no wigs or tacky costumes in the publicity photo and because the theater was air-conditioned ( crucial, folks). "Dorks on the Loose: It I Awkward," at the Warehouse, turned out to be a gem. It's the brainchild of Phaea Crede, 26, and Becca Jones, 27, who run a monthly sketch-comedy show on New York's Lower East Side under the name Delusions of Spandex. Both have training in theater and performance, including time in classes at the Upright Citizens Brigade, but "Dorks" is refreshingly un-highbrow: Over six sketches, the ladies skewer cellphone dependence (that sketch was originally written in a bar, the pair tells us by phone from New York), that "scourge on society" known as the hipster and "women's news." Where Jones is giddy, Crede is deadpan; it adds up to an exuberant 30 minutes. "Dorks on the Loose: It I Awkward" is Saturday at 3 p.m. and midnight. $15. Warehouse Beyond, 1017 Seventh St. NW."
MOTHER FUCKING YAH!!!!!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/07/16/AR2008071603033.html
Monday, July 14, 2008
TODAY IN CAB DRIVERS:
Just in case you wanted to know everything about my cab driver last night here it is:
- He has been driving a cab for 3 months.
- He had prostate cancer.
- His ass is all raw from sitting and he pees in a container, which he showed me.
- He used to be a salesman for a mid-level clothing store that sold to TJ Max and Strawberries, "you get me"?
- He made the mistake of switching to a different company for a larger 401 K and they fired him.
- He almost married a multi-millionaire who lived near Rutgers but the womans gay brother told him that it wasn't a good idea because it was obvious he liked the son of the woman more then the woman her self.
- His accountant made some bad decisions in the 90's (note, NOT investment broker) and now he is broke. And he lost his apartment on West 81st by the Museum.
- He is 62.
- He was set up with a woman who has 4 degrees, one from Harvard and three from BC and BU in developmental psychiatry. She lived in Boston and she looks like Mother Goose. But is the sweetest woman he ever met.
- On their first date she took in to the MFA.
- On their second date they were eating lobsters at the shore.
- This woman has a daughter in college. The daughter played ice hockey in high school and got a scholarship to Ainsley, Harvard and Brown. Her father told her to go to Ainsley because they would let her start playing hockey freshman year. She turned down Harvard and Brown to go there.
- He and Mother Goose were going to move to a one bedroom and out of his studio when he got prostate cancer and she had a stroke. He is clear from the cancer now but she can't get an operation because it affected her medulla oblongata but pulling it to the right of her head. She is in physical therapy for that as well as depression.
- If a woman loses a breast and the man leaves her, he didn't love her. (This was a metaphor I believe).
- He has never heard of Greenpoint, BK.
- If I was paying with a Credit Card he would like the biggest tip because the company takes 5% of tips and fares.
- He takes women right to their doors because thats the kind of guy he is.
I personally, did not want to know any of that.
Just in case you wanted to know everything about my cab driver last night here it is:
- He has been driving a cab for 3 months.
- He had prostate cancer.
- His ass is all raw from sitting and he pees in a container, which he showed me.
- He used to be a salesman for a mid-level clothing store that sold to TJ Max and Strawberries, "you get me"?
- He made the mistake of switching to a different company for a larger 401 K and they fired him.
- He almost married a multi-millionaire who lived near Rutgers but the womans gay brother told him that it wasn't a good idea because it was obvious he liked the son of the woman more then the woman her self.
- His accountant made some bad decisions in the 90's (note, NOT investment broker) and now he is broke. And he lost his apartment on West 81st by the Museum.
- He is 62.
- He was set up with a woman who has 4 degrees, one from Harvard and three from BC and BU in developmental psychiatry. She lived in Boston and she looks like Mother Goose. But is the sweetest woman he ever met.
- On their first date she took in to the MFA.
- On their second date they were eating lobsters at the shore.
- This woman has a daughter in college. The daughter played ice hockey in high school and got a scholarship to Ainsley, Harvard and Brown. Her father told her to go to Ainsley because they would let her start playing hockey freshman year. She turned down Harvard and Brown to go there.
- He and Mother Goose were going to move to a one bedroom and out of his studio when he got prostate cancer and she had a stroke. He is clear from the cancer now but she can't get an operation because it affected her medulla oblongata but pulling it to the right of her head. She is in physical therapy for that as well as depression.
- If a woman loses a breast and the man leaves her, he didn't love her. (This was a metaphor I believe).
- He has never heard of Greenpoint, BK.
- If I was paying with a Credit Card he would like the biggest tip because the company takes 5% of tips and fares.
- He takes women right to their doors because thats the kind of guy he is.
I personally, did not want to know any of that.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
TODAY IN THE DC FRINGE FESTIVAL:
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DELUSIONS OF SPANDEX ARE…DORKS ON THE LOOSE: IT I AWKWARD*
WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY PHAEA CREDE AND BECCA JONES
DIRECTED BY PAT BAER
PRODUCED BY HANNAH HESSEL
*SKETCH COMEDY FOR THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE, AND IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.
THURS 7/10 @ 8PM
FRI 7/11 @ 8:30PM
SAT 7/12 @ 7PM
SUN 7/13 @ 4PM
SAT 7/19 @ 3PM
SAT 7/19 @ MIDNIGHT
AT WAREHOUSE - BEYOND
1017 7TH ST, NW 20001
RED, GREEN OR YELLOW LINE TO GALLERY PLACE/CHINATOWN
(RIGHT AROUND FROM THE FRINGE FESTIVAL BOX OFFICE!)
$15 (PLUS $5 FRINGE BUTTON)
TO PURCHASE TICKETS GO TO: CAPITALFRINGE.ORG
OR CONTACT THE FRINGE FESTIVAL OFFICE AT: 202.962.0037
PART OF THE 3RD ANNUAL CAPITAL FRINGE FESTIVAL
BE THERE!!!
and let me know if you can't afford it! we get some comps.
.jpg)
DELUSIONS OF SPANDEX ARE…DORKS ON THE LOOSE: IT I AWKWARD*
WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY PHAEA CREDE AND BECCA JONES
DIRECTED BY PAT BAER
PRODUCED BY HANNAH HESSEL
*SKETCH COMEDY FOR THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE, AND IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.
THURS 7/10 @ 8PM
FRI 7/11 @ 8:30PM
SAT 7/12 @ 7PM
SUN 7/13 @ 4PM
SAT 7/19 @ 3PM
SAT 7/19 @ MIDNIGHT
AT WAREHOUSE - BEYOND
1017 7TH ST, NW 20001
RED, GREEN OR YELLOW LINE TO GALLERY PLACE/CHINATOWN
(RIGHT AROUND FROM THE FRINGE FESTIVAL BOX OFFICE!)
$15 (PLUS $5 FRINGE BUTTON)
TO PURCHASE TICKETS GO TO: CAPITALFRINGE.ORG
OR CONTACT THE FRINGE FESTIVAL OFFICE AT: 202.962.0037
PART OF THE 3RD ANNUAL CAPITAL FRINGE FESTIVAL
BE THERE!!!
and let me know if you can't afford it! we get some comps.
TODAY IN PEOPLE TRYING TO BE ORIGINAL:
I met a baby recently and so I now have babies on the mind. Babies rule! And thinking up names for your future babies is a valid and not obsessive past time. I spend most of my day doing it! Which is why I was delighted to find an article on yahoo news (my only news source!) comparing the most popular names from 1950 to last year:
Most popular boy/girl baby names in 1950:
1. James / Linda
2. Robert / Mary
3. John / Patricia
4. Michael / Barbara
5. David / Susan
6. William / Nancy
7. Richard / Deborah
8. Thomas / Sandra
9. Charles / Carol
10. Gary / Kathleen
Here's the list from last year:
1. Jacob / Emily
2. Michael / Isabella
3. Ethan / Emma
4. Joshua / Ava
5. Daniel / Madison
6. Christopher / Sophia
7. Anthony / Olivia
8. William / Abigail
9. Matthew / Hannah
10. Andrew / Elizabeth
I am simply having a IMPOSSIBLE time accepting that Isabella is the second most popular name for girl babies!! How disappointing for all those parents who think they are giving their girl a special exotic name (no Mary's here!) and BAM every other kid at Baby Loves Disco has the same handle.
Also, MADISON??? Really? I mean thats a cute name but the 5th most popular!!!??? Its like the alternative name for super-meek people. Too afraid to go all the way to Apple or Fuchsia, but ahhh Madison, how alternative it is. Sure, as alternative as DAVE MATTHEWS BAND.
I feel bad for boys. It seems like no matter how much time has passed their names never get any better. And even though it's my Dad's name I really wish people would let "Michael" rest for a while.
And lets bring back Gary!! Can you imagine a baby called Gary??
Speaking as a person who can google her first name and find herself, it depresses me to think about 1,000,000 Madison's out there wanting to be all special and just being like Susan 2.0.
Lets all give our babies awesome original names for the future. See this blog for some ideas!
I met a baby recently and so I now have babies on the mind. Babies rule! And thinking up names for your future babies is a valid and not obsessive past time. I spend most of my day doing it! Which is why I was delighted to find an article on yahoo news (my only news source!) comparing the most popular names from 1950 to last year:
Most popular boy/girl baby names in 1950:
1. James / Linda
2. Robert / Mary
3. John / Patricia
4. Michael / Barbara
5. David / Susan
6. William / Nancy
7. Richard / Deborah
8. Thomas / Sandra
9. Charles / Carol
10. Gary / Kathleen
Here's the list from last year:
1. Jacob / Emily
2. Michael / Isabella
3. Ethan / Emma
4. Joshua / Ava
5. Daniel / Madison
6. Christopher / Sophia
7. Anthony / Olivia
8. William / Abigail
9. Matthew / Hannah
10. Andrew / Elizabeth
I am simply having a IMPOSSIBLE time accepting that Isabella is the second most popular name for girl babies!! How disappointing for all those parents who think they are giving their girl a special exotic name (no Mary's here!) and BAM every other kid at Baby Loves Disco has the same handle.
Also, MADISON??? Really? I mean thats a cute name but the 5th most popular!!!??? Its like the alternative name for super-meek people. Too afraid to go all the way to Apple or Fuchsia, but ahhh Madison, how alternative it is. Sure, as alternative as DAVE MATTHEWS BAND.
I feel bad for boys. It seems like no matter how much time has passed their names never get any better. And even though it's my Dad's name I really wish people would let "Michael" rest for a while.
And lets bring back Gary!! Can you imagine a baby called Gary??
Speaking as a person who can google her first name and find herself, it depresses me to think about 1,000,000 Madison's out there wanting to be all special and just being like Susan 2.0.
Lets all give our babies awesome original names for the future. See this blog for some ideas!
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